


The Agony of Immortality

by Wolves_of_Innistrad



Series: Vampire!Alec Series [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Future Fic, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Immortality, M/M, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 22:19:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18433247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolves_of_Innistrad/pseuds/Wolves_of_Innistrad
Summary: This is basically just Alec and Simon commiserating over their immortality and having had to watch their loved ones grow old and pass on without them.  Two vampires trying to find a way to move on with their unlives.





	The Agony of Immortality

**Author's Note:**

> This acts as background for what's happened in their lives between the last installment of this series and now since there's a multiple decade time jump.

          Alec remembered when he hated Simon, or at least couldn’t stand him. The mundane had been annoying, even more so when he got turned into a vampire. Him and Clary had always been dragging them into trouble, causing a ruckus and just generally being annoying. It’s funny how things can change after nearly a century.

  
At first Alec thought it was because Simon was, for lack of a less embarrassing term, his Sire. Alec hadn’t asked for it, but he also couldn’t say he regretted it since it meant he got to spend so many more years with Magnus, with their family. No, his tolerance, maybe even a fondness for Simon, had grown slowly.

Right after it happened he resented Simon for turning him. Then as time passed and he got to see his life, or unlife as it were, coming together, he was begrudgingly thankful. He knew that had Simon not been there he’d just have been dead, they’d never have gotten to adopt Madzie, Magnus wouldn’t have been able to finally have a child of his own biologically, which they hadn’t thought possible until Isabelle had asked if now that Magnus was mortal that he could. In the end Isabelle had been their surrogate, and Alec loved their son, technically his nephew, Isidor Lightwood-Bane very much.

Of course that was many years ago now, Isidor was the current head of the institute, something that made Alec immensely proud, Madzie was High Warlock of Brooklyn, a title that Magnus was overjoyed to have lived to see for his daughter. Magnus had passed about 10 years ago. Alec had tried to convince him that there had to be a way to prolong his life, but after almost 500 years of life Magnus had been ready. He’d found the love of his life, he’d had children and watched them grow and find great success and happiness of their own. As much as Magnus cherished every moment with his beloved family, he was ready.

Alec had been almost inconsolable, in the end there was no one else he could talk to except Simon. Poor Simon who had felt the same thing just a few years before when his husband Raphael had finally passed. Simon himself had asked Raphael once if he wanted to be turned again, but Raphael had declined, saying all he wanted was to live his life happily and rest in peace when it was his time. Now it was just him and Simon from their original group.

  
  
Jace had been the first to pass, always reckless, always charigng headlong into battle. After Alec had been turned it was Jace that approached him with an offer of his blood to make him a Daylighter like Simon. While Alec had no interest in biting Jace, his parabatai eventually had Simon help drain some of his blood and gave it to Alec in a bottle.

Isabelle lived to see her son, Isidor, become head of the institute and had a long fulfilling life. She pioneered much of the technology that the Institute used even to this day with all of her advancements. Alec had offered to turn her as well, not wanting to have to lose everyone he loved, but Isabelle hadn’t wanted to even if she lamented leaving her brother alone.  
  
Clary was the last to go, having held out longer than anyone expected, passing only a few years before Magnus, and almost right after Raphael. She’d been an incredible Shadowhunter, mother and friend, creating many new runes that the Clave could have never without her. For Simon it was a rough few years with his best friend and husband passing so close together, and that was when he and Alec grew even closer.

 

Now he and Simon lived together, mostly because neither could stand living in their former homes anymore. Madzie had taken over Magnus and Alec’s home, Alec happy to see it kept in the family with Isidor and his children often stopping by and staying over with their aunt. Simon and Raphael never had children, although Simon had sired another vampire later in life that he acted as a bit of a father figure towards and had passed his house onto them.

 

Even after all this time it was strange to wake up and see himself having not changed in all these years, to look at Simon across the room and see the same boy he’d met so many years before, and yet know that everyone else they’d known and loved from that time had aged and died.

Taking a seat next to Simon on the couch he rested his head against his Sire’s shoulder, no longer as stingy with physical affection as he’d once been in his youth. “Si...” he said, closing his eyes and trying to relax.

“Hey Alec,” Simon answered, still reading his book.

“Do you think… Do you think this is just it?”

 

“What is it?” Simon asked, confused.

“This. Everything. Do you think this is just the rest of time for us? Our husbands have passed, our friends and most family are long gone, as much as I hate to think about it, Isidor is getting so old, I doubt he’ll be with us much longer. There’s Madzie, and the grand kids but I just… Angel, sometimes I hate this. I didn’t want to be immortal. I didn’t understand how hard this was for Magnus, not until near the end when I saw it happen for myself.”

Simon closed his book, turning to look at Alec who had now lifted his head back upright. “Hey, I know. It’s hard for me too. Like you said at least you have grand kids to look after, a family line to watch over. I just have you and one other vamp kid that doesn’t even come over often. Ungrateful brat,” Simon said, but he was joking for the most part.

“You do have me. Simon you’re my best friend now, the only one that understands what I’ve been through, what we’ve been through. What its like to have to age and move on from everyone else we knew.”

“DO you regret me turning you?”

“No. No, I’m thankful. I got so many wonderful years with Magnus, with our children. I owe that to you and Isabelle. It’s just hard some days. I miss him, I miss all of them.”

“Me too Alec, me too,” Simon says, and he pulls Alec into a hug. Neither of them have had it easy in their now immortal lives. They’ve made the most of it, done their best to be happy, to help their families, to make the world a better place for everyone, but loneliness always creeps in.

“Magnus and Raphael… We really didn’t get it huh? How difficult this was for them. They tried to tell us but you just couldn’t understand until you experienced it.”

Simon sighed, leaning back against the couch. “I think maybe we just didn’t want to. We didn’t want to realize how much pain came with being immortal. That everything they’d told us, that they went through, was going to happen to us one day soon. Magnus was around 400 years old when you met right?”

Alec nods.

“And look at him, he was still going strong all those years. Here we are whining after barely a century of life. Most people would kill to be over 100 and look in their 20s.”

Again Alec has to agree. “I guess I always comforted myself with the fact that Magnus had found love before, but I was his true love. I could deal with waiting hundreds of years to meet Magnus, but I don’t know if I can live hundreds of years after losing Magnus.”

That was something Simon had wondered himself about Raphael. They sat in silent understanding, Simon eventually taking Alec’s hand and just holding it for a little while.

“I think we should do something to cheer ourselves up. I actually have an idea,” Simon said, turning to Alec with a broad smile.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had to be wary of one of your ideas...” Alec said with caution.

“Oh don’t be a spoilsport Alec. Look, I know this vamp, he runs a bar. One of his regulars is always asking to get bit. Yes he’s a mundane but he knows about vamps, its this whole story anyway. Normally you know we can’t get drunk, but if we drink blood from someone that’s absolutely smashed when might get a bit of a buzz going ourselves. I could call him, see if his friend is interested in a night of free drinks and a blood donation.”

“This feels unethical...” Alec says, but he can’t help but think a night like that might do him some good. Take his mind off the past for a moment.

“It’s perfectly fine. The guy will be okay, he’s done it before. Not often I mean, but he’s mentioned it to me once or twice. It costs a bit, but I’m willing to pay for us to have one night of fun.”

“Alright alright, enough convincing. I’ll do it. Well, if that’s the case I better go see the grand kids. They’ll be less likely to come over and interrupt our little party if they’ve already seen me today.”

“You go do that, I’ll make some calls,” Simon replies, smiling as he pulls out his holophone and dials the number of his friend.

 


End file.
